Saturday, 18 April 2009
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I'm back...I think.
Hellooooo *tap tap* is anyone out there?
I didn't ever end up doing protected posting. I just ended up posting on our family blog but now I need somewhere to post where my parents and the in-laws don't read.

So, we're pregnant again! Very much a surprise as I didn't even have a period since having Nathan. I am nervous. Nathan has been a very demanding baby and I have enjoyed very little of his babyhood. Usually I love having a baby in the house. I'm nervous this baby will be as demanding and difficult as he's been. On May 1st he'll be 10 months. I'll be 8 weeks pregnant on Monday. I'm trying really hard to be positive but it's difficult. I am tired and worn down and feel as though I have nothing *nothing* left to give. Literally I feel as though the life has been sucked out of me. I know I'm depending too much on my own strength (and there is none left) and not on God.

We have not told our families yet. My sister here in town knows, but she's the only one who is very supportive and understanding. Chad's family will be the hardest to tell as they are very negative. My parents will react okay, but we'll probably wait to tell any of them until after the gender ultrasound at 20 weeks. Side note: I'm sure this is another boy. It's difficult to not be able to talk to anyone about this.
Chad has been so amazing. I don't deserve him. He held me last night when I completely fell apart. He jumps up to help me when I truly need it (and I've been needing it a lot lately). He took such good care of me when I was on bedrest during my pregnancy with Nathan. He's started making me eggs again, I eat them a lot when I am pregnant and he makes the best eggs. I've been feeling like CRAP with nausea and he left to get me morning sickness wrist bands late last night when I was crying and feeling so horrible. He takes such good care of me, and I am very blessed.
I just don't know how to keep perspective in the midst of all the needs when I feel as if I'm drowning. I wake up frustrated and upset, before anything has even happened. That's not fair to my family.
I don't know. I don't know what God is doing but I have to trust that He's in this.
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Comments (8)
That is so strange that you posted today. I wondered TODAY what had happened to you.
Congratulations. That is awesome. Looking forward to pictures of everybody...
Glad you are back!!!! Congrats!!!!
Congrats on the future addition! Hope you start feeling better, although it's good to hear your husband is so supportive and caring! Take care.
Congratulations! It will all be OK. I will keep you and the baby in my thoughts and prayers. ((HUGS)). I don't know if you saw or not, but on Nov. 13th we lost another little girl...Alessia was still-born due to a cord accident. We are hoping that the Lord will allow us to try one more time and this time bless us with a sucessful and healthy out-come. Anyway, I will be praying for you and yours. ((HUGS)). ~Shea
So happy to hear the news but, so sorry to hear you are feeling badly. It sounds as though your husband is being so very sweetly sensitive to you and you are being so wonderfully grateful for it. The Lord is really showing you His love through your husbands actions. ~ Father God is right there with you.
I'm so glad you're back -- and congratulations! I am so sorry to hear you're having a hard time -- but it sounds like your husband is totally there for you and that's the most important thing. Take care!
those first few weeks of knowing about a new pregnancy are rough, especially when you aren't feeling well. The good news is that there are still 8 months to adjust! And any change takes time to adjust to. I'm glad you are back and hope you keep posting! Congratulations on your new blessing (even if it may not feel like one right now). I am here if you ever want to talk, I would love to chat with you. 734 484 9678.
This is kind of bold, but I am going to subscribe to your blog and pray for you. Even bolder: I want you to know that I am praying for you.
Hope it's not too forward of me!
My new xanga blog lets me reconnect with old friends on Xanga and meet new ones, but it's designed to re-direct peopIe to my new blog/website (www.applepieforhomeschools.com). I homescooled my kids through high school and lived to tell about it. Now I AM telling it, not just to friends in the community or to people sitting in a seminar, but to friends online. I would cherish the priviledge of being an encouraging voice in your life.
God bless you.